


The Lizards' Argument

by Shuichi_Akai



Series: Klabautermann Tales [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Klabautermann, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 19:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14087844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuichi_Akai/pseuds/Shuichi_Akai
Summary: Crocodile gets into an argument with the Klabautermann of his ship, Il Coccodrillo.





	The Lizards' Argument

Sir Crocodile, the Desert King, stared down at the teenager in front of him as if he were a parent scolding a child. “No,”

The teen in front of the pirate captain appeared to be a sixteen year old boy with dark green hair swept to the side, his golden eyes glaring up at Crocodile. His clothes consisted of a white tunic, a brown leather vest, long black pants, and brown boots. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I’m not letting you drink any alcohol,” Crocodile denied.

To anyone watching, it’d seem like Crocodile was being a responsible father by not letting his son drink. But Crocodile was definitely not a father and the boy was definitely not his son. The boy was Il Coccodrillo, the Klabautermann of the Golden Hook Pirates’ ship.

“Everyone else is drinking!” Il Coccodrillo pointed out. “Let me have some rum and whiskey!”

“You’re a lightweight,” Crocodile pointed out. “Last time you drank just a little bit, you got drunk,”

“And?” Il Coccodrillo rolled his eyes. “So what? Being a little drunk won’t kill me,”

“The entire ship was out of control,” Crocodile reminded. “You were swaying and tossing people and objects everywhere. It was as if we were in a violent storm without the weather changing!”

“I work hard bringing the entire crew across the seas and this is how you repay me!?” Il Coccodrillo snapped. “You refuse to give me some booze!?”

“And I’m also making sure you don’t sink yourself,” Crocodile added.

Il Coccodrillo narrowed his eyes and disappeared back into the ship.

XXX

Crocodile was sitting in a recliner in his room, petting his pet pug on his lap. “Who’s a good girl?” Crocodile cooed at his puppy. “You are, Banana. You’re a good girl,”

Suddenly, Crocodile was thrown forward and out of his chair. Luckily he was quick and turned to sand, carrying Banana with him to the bed. “Arf?” Banana was confused as to what was happening.

A bunch of books from his bookshelf was flying towards Crocodile. Crocodile easily protected Banana while dodging. “Il Coccodrillo, stop this childish tantrum!”

“No!”

“I’m not letting you get drunk and sink us!” Crocodile refused.

“Jackass!”

“Stop throwing things around or else you’ll end up hurting Banana!” Crocodile ordered.

The books all fell to the ground. Crocodile seemed to have gotten through to him.

XXX

While everyone was sleeping, including the guy who was supposed to stay awake and keep watch for the night, Il Coccodrillo changed course. They weren’t heading to the next island but was rather going to meet up with another Klabautermann and her crew. A couple hours later, they met up with each other. “It’s been a while, El Flamenco,”

“Fufufu,” El Flamenco chuckled. “To what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you here, Il Coccodrillo?”

“I want to show Doflamingo to Crocodile’s room,” Il Coccodrillo grinned evilly.

“Fufufu, I’m not against that at all,” Doflamingo agreed. “Let me guess: he wouldn’t let you have any booze?”

“You got that right,” Il Coccodrillo nodded, catching the bottle of whiskey that the other pirate captain had tossed to him. “Now you can go wake up the sleeping beauty from his slumber,”

XXX

Crocodile woke up later than he wanted. It was as if someone had slipped sleeping pills into his drink. As he was waking up, he felt lips against his. His eyes immediately shot up and he saw a pair of red-tinted sunglasses in front of his face. The older male quickly brought his hook between them, managing to cut the front of the blonde’s suit.

Doflamingo had managed to jump back in time and had his trademark grin present. “If you wanted to unclothe me, you could’ve said so,”

“How did you get into my room!?” Crocodile demanded. 

“Your poor Klabautermann was desperate for a drink,” Doflamingo answered. 

“You idiot! He’ll get drunk with less than a bottle!” Then the ship began to sway violently and toss the two around. Was Il Coccodrillo singing Bink's Sake? “This is why he isn’t allowed to drink!”

“At least I’m trapped in a room with you, Crocy,” Doflamingo grinned.

“Trapped!?” Crocodile rushed to the door and attempted to pull it open, but it was sealed tight. “Il Coccodrillo, let me out!”

**Author's Note:**

> Il Coccodrillo and El Flamenco are friends. They both like the idea of Doflamingo annoying Crocodile.


End file.
